I don't know if I have been very honest with everyone about this whole adoption process. I've shared more on Facebook and with my close friends in person. One of my friends that I made through this adoption process, is very eloquent in the way she has described her issues with her adopted daughter. I can't even come close, but I will try.
Hannah is a cutie. She can be very funny, but she is also very stubborn and at times very defiant. I have little to no patience when it comes to her. I envisioned a sweet little girl when I was going through the adoption process, and then reality hit. They are not the same. God is apparently teaching me how to love her and to grow with her in the loving process b/c she doesn't know how to love. She now will kiss and hug us whereas before she wouldn't do either. She does not like to cuddle and won't sit still for anything. As a mother, I long for those cuddly moments and for my child to respond in the ways that I need, but she doesn't. She makes it very difficult for me to even like her at times. I know this is harsh, but it's how I feel. I know I am not alone when I express my feelings as an adoptive mother and I want other mother's to know that they are not alone or crazy either. There is help out there. There are specialists that deal with attachment disorders and yes I have begun seeing one. I am trusting that the Lord will help me to eventually love Hannah with all my heart and soul, just like my boys.
Now here are some pictures that highlight the last month or so.
The first day of school.
Our goalie, Cody.
Cody's 10th birthday party at Interskate 88.
Hannah after eating her chocolate cupcake at Cody's party.
Collin and his good friend Nolan at Cody's party.
Big cousin Jetta pushing Hannah on her bike.
Shelly, I am so glad that you are getting some help with Hannah. I have not found a counselor who specializes in attachment. But things have gotten better with Naomi. I have taken a lot of advice from a book I have been reading. I admire your courage for the honesty in this situation. It's just not talked about is it? No one tells you before you go that your child is going to be angry with you and show resentment and frustration towards the very people who love her so much. I think we both are on the right track and our bonding with these girls will strengthen over time. You are the mom Hannah needs and I am the mom Naomi needs!
ReplyDeleteShelly, you are not alone. Adoption is a journey and a chance for each family member to grow - especially the mama! Being honest is a good place to start! -Heather
ReplyDeleteHang in there, girl. God has a plan and he will complete it. Hannah was meant to be in your family. What a miracle her little life is and what a testimony you will have. I love you and think of you often.
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